A Rakes Guide to Pleasure Read online

  "She had. She and her lover. Those rumors were true. He was a voyeur, it seemed. And I was the young, debauched nobleman they chose to involve in their game. The other rumors were not true. I did not know he was watching. He stayed hidden." Hart shrugged the stiffness from his shoul­ders. "Not that I was morally opposed to much. Regardless, all I could see were her and her considerable charms."

  "But she let you fall in love with her."

  "Oh, yes. She encouraged it. It gave them ample fodder for amusement."

  "The letters."

  "The letters." Hart waited for the faint, familiar buzzing in his ears to stop. "But I am no longer so vulnerable. And I never write love letters to women."

  Emma offered a faint smile, but it quickly fell back to a serious line. Her brow furrowed and she clasped her hands together. One thumb rubbed over the other. "You became a different person. Harder."

  "Yes. You understand that."

  She nodded, but didn't look up from her hands. "I do."

  "Emma, I have no intention of hurting you."

  "Unlike your experience, Hart, there is rarely bad inten­tion. People just happen to get hurt." She finally met his gaze. "And I am already too changed."

  "Your father."

  Her frown wavered for just a moment, but she smoothed it out before Hart could even think that she might cry. "Yes," she said, and left it at that.

  A little horror darted through his mind, a shadow of a thought, but he refused to chase it. He did not need to know her past to know that he liked her, that he'd missed her tur­bulent presence in his structured life. Perhaps, in time, she would change her mind about their relationship. In fact, he was counting on it. She was far too sensual to live with an empty bed.

  So he only leaned back in his chair and crossed his booted foot over his knee. "I have heard disturbing rumors about you, Lady Denmore. I came here today to chastise you for your dangerous behavior."

  She relaxed at his change of topic. "Rumors are rarely true, as you know. What have you heard?"

  "Betting on the change of weather. Horse races in the park. Games of brag that go on until dawn. Less than respectable soirees put on by questionable hosts."

  "Mm. I never bet on horses, Your Grace."

  His loud laughter startled both of them. She pressed a hand to her chest before her surprise turned to a grin. "What?"

  "You deny nothing else?" he chuckled, thoroughly de­lighted at the familiar frustration she inspired.

  She said simply, "I have been winning," as if that were answer enough. And he supposed it was, because her shin­ing hazel eyes crinkled with her smile and her cheeks glowed a soft and kissable pink.

  "Promise me something," he said in an attempt to keep from pouncing on her in the parlor. "That day at Mather­ton's, on the pond, do not put yourself in that kind of danger again."

  She shook her head. "That pond was—"

  When Hart held up a hand, amazingly, she stopped speak­ing. "I have resigned myself. You will be scandalous and naughty at every turn, and I will stand by and look exasper­ated enough to entertain the ton. But if I think you will put yourself in true danger, I will likely go mad. So please, promise just this one thing."

  She'd ceased to smile. Her eyes were wider now, but her cheeks just as pink. Her mouth looked pinker still, and soft and lonely. "Hart. . ."

  His name was little more than a sigh, gentler than any word he'd ever heard her utter. Hart felt something painful blossom inside his chest, a slow explosion, dull and aching.

  "I promise," she whispered. "But you mustn't say any­thing like that ever again."

  He couldn't think past the disturbing pain. "Like what?"

  "You mustn't be kind and . . . and . . ." She shook her head. "Promise me that. No kindness or. . ."

  Hart looked into her desperate eyes just before he pushed to his feet. He'd crossed some line that neither had expected him to cross, but he hadn't done it on purpose. He'd simply looked around and here he was.

  "Don't be ridiculous," he muttered, trying to sound cruel, but Emma stood too and reached for his hand. Her fingers looked small and perfect against his.

  "We flirt," she said, the words sounding strained and rushed. "We flirt and we argue and we occasionally engage in a seduction. We entertain each other, Hart."

  "Yes," he said, not meaning it at all.

  "But we are not kind, neither of us. Are we?"

  "Surely not," he sneered.

  "Please," she whispered. Her eyes glowed again, but not with laughter. They were luminous with tears. "Don't be kind to me."

  "Emma, for God's sake." The pain in his chest had spread to his arms, and he knew how to make it fade. He eased his arms around her and pulled her body to his. Her hands pressed against his chest, succeeding only in becoming trapped be­tween their bodies. She hid her face against his shoulder.

  "You are so stubborn." He rubbed his mouth over her hair, mussing it further. He wanted to free it from its pins, let it fall over his hands, let it sweep across his arm, his chest. He wanted to kiss her, seduce her, work the buttons free on that ugly dress. Sex was something they could both understand. It wasn't kind or caring or painful.

  And afterward she would smirk at him and comment on his successful attempt at charm. She would comfort herself with the knowledge that he was not kind, that they were not friends. And he could tell himself the same thing.

  Hart let her go, stepped away from her warmth and vul­nerability. "Stay out of trouble," he grumbled, and then he fled from both their fears.

  Chapter 12

  Emma paid the hack and hurried up her front steps. It was well after midnight, probably after one, but the night was eerily bright. Moonlight illuminated the thick fog and cast strange, shifting shadows over everything. The cold made her shiver, but an irrational fear pushed her to shove her front door open and scramble through it. She slammed it behind her and shot the lock with a satisfying click.

  The whole day had conspired to make her anxious. First, Hart had lain in wait for her, armed with gentleness and caring. That had shaken her to her core, the glimpse into the secret man the duke kept well hidden from the world. She'd wanted to explore him, his soul as well as his body. She'd wanted to belong to him, to love him, and wasn't that utterly ridiculous? To love Winterhart himself?

  That frightening possibility had followed her like a ghost throughout the rest of the day and night. A relentless spirit that brushed up against her with every movement, every thought. She could love him. Oh, Lord, she could. And he would never forgive her. Another woman who'd deceived him at every turn.

  So she hadn't been able to think clearly, and it had been her first invitation to Chestershire's home to play against his deep-pocketed friends. But she did not have deep pockets, and luckily there had been only a few tables open for her participation. She'd only lost ninety-two quid. It could have gone much worse.

  The parlor was cold, but Emma stopped there and made her way to the small door at the back. The tiny, hidden room served as Emma's office and she felt an overwhelming need to work out her numbers before she retired for the evening. She needed to see them in black and white, remind herself of what she was doing here in London.

  Lifting a corner of a cheap rug, she crouched down next to the desk. She'd hidden a small safe beneath the floor­boards, and it was growing increasingly full. Emma keyed the iron door and carefully counted out the coin she'd man­aged to hang onto throughout her disastrous play. When she was done, she sat at the desk in cloak and gloves and opened her ledger. Two thousand and sixty-seven pounds. She added another line, documenting the amount she'd just redeposited. Two thousand one hundred and twenty-two pounds.

  Not bad. She'd arrived in London with just under six hun­dred quid, and even after the expense of renting this shabby home and outfitting herself in a closet full of secondhand dresses, she'd managed to make quite a profit.

  Three thousand. That was the magic number, though she wouldn't mind reaching four. Still, with three
thousand to invest in bonds, she would have an income of one hundred fifty a year. More than enough to lease her own cottage on the coast, though she would dearly love to buy one outright. Enough to provide Bess a position as long as she wanted it. A hundred and fifty a year would buy food and furniture and clothing and even books. It would see to her independence, her comfort. She could provide for herself and live however she saw fit.

  Emma stared hard at the numbers, jotted a few more down, checked her figures. Yes, another month and she would be there, even with conservative play. And whatever was blooming between her and Hart, whatever that was in his eyes, it would have to be smothered. She couldn't en­courage it, for her own sake as well as his. But the idea of discouraging him was a heavy yoke on her shoulders as she closed the ledger book and took the lamp in hand. She sighed with nearly every step as she made her way up the stairs to the second floor.

  Even before she reached her door, Emma felt the warmth radiating from the darkness. Bess had stoked the coals before she'd gone to bed, bless her. Emma was able to swing her cloak off her shoulders without the least bit of regret. She slipped off her gloves and tossed them onto an empty chair, then reached for the small buttons that ran down the front of her dress.

  She'd purchased as many front-fastening dresses as she'd been able. Bess had to be up early in the morning to start fires and begin breakfast. The woman could not stay up until two or three in the morning just to help Emma undress.

  The backs of her knuckles brushed the skin of her chest, and she grimaced at the cold. The bed would be icy too, but it would warm quickly enough and Emma found herself jerking at the stubborn top button of her gown, eager to climb beneath the thick layers of linens and quilts. When she moved into her own cottage, she would be sure to buy a shiny new bed warmer. What a pleasure that would—

  "Emily."

  "Oh!" she screamed and whipped around toward the male voice. Hart, was her first thought, before she registered that he could not know that name she hated. Unless . . .

  "Emily."

  The room was small but the corners were deep in shadow. She backed away from the voice, searching the dark corners farthest from the door. It took an endless moment to finally separate the man's figure from the blackness. Her heart beat so hard that it seemed to do nothing more than shake until her body trembled from the force of it.

  "Hart?" She pushed herself along the edge of the bed, trying to reach the little table where she'd set the lamp. "I did not mean to frighten you."

  No, no, not Hart. It wasn't him. And, oh, God, he'd said Emily. Only one person called her that. "I. . . I—"

  "It's all right. Shh." He stepped forward, legs moving into the light, and she couldn't hold back a little scream.

  Slender hands rose, trying to calm her. "I'm here to help."

  And then she could see his face. Matthew. It really had been him, out on the street. Not just her fear, her imagination.

  "You have gotten yourself into a world of trouble, Emily. But I'm here now."

  "Don't. . . Matthew . . . What are you doing here?"

  "I'm sorry." His thin mouth offered a familiar, conde­scending smile. "I did not want to frighten you. I snuck into your home to avoid drawing attention to you. If word got out. . ." He shook his head, the picture of sympathy.

  "No, what are you doing here! In London?" She found that her body was sinking slowly lower. Suddenly the bed was beneath her thighs and she was sitting, staring up at her old suitor. His straight blond hair fell over his brow. His green eyes glowed with an intensity that hadn't been there when they'd first met.

  "Well, I have been looking for you. I never thought a young lady like you could manage to disappear quite so thoroughly. You're distressingly devious."

  "I didn't. . . I didn't disappear. I just wanted to come to London."

  "Emily." That head shake again. "Your place is in Cheshire, as I've told you countless times. And now I'm here to fetch you home."

  The fear and shock had formed a ball of tension in her chest that pressed against her lungs and made her ribs feel too small, but the tension began to melt. Emma clenched her fingers into fists. "Cheshire is not my home, as I've told you many times. And you had no right to follow me. No right to come into my house."

  Matthew smiled, showing very pointed eyeteeth. "I did not follow you, Emily. Well, to be honest, I tried. But I lost your scent somewhere in Birmingham. But two weeks ago, my father received a letter from London written on fine sta­tionary. Luckily, I intercepted it."

  The tightness melted completely and left sliding, slippery liquid inside her chest. "A letter? From whom?" She pressed a hand to her heart, trying to calm the violent waves that rocked against it.

  "Does it matter? Suffice it to say it was a man of impor­tance, which does not bode well for you."

  Hart. Hart had done it. He had taken up her challenge. Ex­posed her.

  "It was a very mildly worded letter, which said nothing much at all, but it was quite strange. He seemed to be under the impression that your uncle had left a widow behind. He wondered if, perhaps, she still had family in the area."

  "I don't. . ." She swallowed hard, stalling for time. "I'm sure he was mistaken. Perhaps we haven't been introduced. If you will tell me who—"

  "Emily." His sigh was bursting with self-satisfied weari­ness. "There are two invitations on the front table addressed to Lady Denmore. You're lying to these people. Just as you've lied to me."

  Emma swallowed again. And again. Nausea was rising up, choking her. "I didn't. . ." Oh, Lord, she needed time to think. "You shouldn't be in here," she blurted out, remem­bering his obsession with propriety. Just saying something effective gave her a little strength, and she pushed to her feet. "You shouldn't be in my room."

  Matthew held up his hands, but Emma stabbed a finger at the door. "This is completely improper. You snuck in like a thief, stood there and let me begin to undress. How dare you."

  His cheeks darkened. "You only removed your cloak."

  "I was unbuttoning my dress!"

  "I have seen—" he started, but choked on his own words. "I've touched . . ." His cheeks looked on fire now as he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "You have always tempted me to reckless behavior, Emily. You've always caused me to sin. You are Eve to my Adam."

  "Matthew, all we did was kiss. I never meant you to think we would marry."

  "But you let me touch your. . . breasts."

  Oh, for God's sake. She could not believe his mind was still so twisted around a few paltry embraces. He would ruin everything with his delusions.

  "I am a lady, Matthew. I am requesting that you leave my private chambers and my home."

  "You are living here unchaperoned!"

  "Exactly my point. You cannot be here."

  "Emily," he growled and stepped toward her.

  She lifted her chin and put on her haughtiest face. "You may return tomorrow between the hours of three and six if you wish to call on me, Matthew Bromley."

  "I am not calling on you," he hissed. "I am here to take you home before you destroy your family's name and our entire future together."

  "We will speak of it tomorrow during civilized hours."

  His mouth twisted into the violent sneer she'd seen only once before. Emma stepped back, out of his reach. She was next to the table now and the lamp. She could hit him with it if he attacked her.

  Matthew didn't move closer, but his hands clenched into fists. "You must think me an idiot. You will slip away like a rat scurrying from danger, but I am not blind to your decep­tive nature any longer, Emily. It is something we will work on during our marriage. I've already spoken to the Reverend Whittier about it."

  "I have an entire household here; I could not possibly gather everything up in a few hours time. This is my home, and I will not leave it. I will be here tomorrow during receiv­ing hours. You may return then."

  His eyes glimmered with anger as he studied her. He swept his gaze down her gown. "You are dressed li
ke a harlot," he muttered, but even he could not put much force behind it. It simply wasn't true. Her meager budget re­stricted her to nondescript dresses that could be taken apart and remade into more nondescript dresses. Still, Emma managed to look outraged.

  "You, a man who thinks to be my husband . . . You feel free to call me a harlot? Get out of my home."

  His face spasmed into tortured lines before smoothing out to appeasement. "My apologies. I did not mean that. I have simply been so worried."

  "I am not going to 'scurry away like a rat.' And even if you did think me so cowardly, the banks are not open tomor­row. I do not keep my inheritance tucked away beneath the floorboards, Matthew."

  "Of course not. I. . ." He clearly could think of no further arguments. Anxiety had never been his friend.

  "Tomorrow, Matthew."

  He opened his mouth, closed it. Finally, he gave one short nod of his head. "Fine. Tomorrow. But you may begin pack­ing. We will leave within the week and pray to God no one ever finds you out."

  "Matthew," she started, deciding to take one last chance on reason. "Please understand. I enjoy London. If my father hadn't died I would have had my Season, time to—"

  "Your father did die, and his death brought you to me, and that is where you were meant to stay. I will hear no more of it. How you could even propose that I leave you here to live a life of utter falsehood . .. You insult me."

  She nodded, having known what he would say before he'd opened his mouth. She'd heard something similar many times before. "Then I will see you tomorrow."

  "Good evening," he offered with a polite bow, as if he hadn't been hiding in the dark for her like a spider. "And if you try any of your tricks, do not forget that my father is a magistrate."

  Emma waited until he had descended the stairs before she followed and locked the door behind him. She'd have to walk the whole house, figure out how he'd gotten in.

  Bess, she thought with a rush of panic, and ran down to the basement and the little room off the kitchen that Bess used as her own. She flung open the door, but Bess was there, snor­ing, undisturbed even by Emma's loud entrance. She was fine. Emma eased the door shut and stood there in the dark kitchen.