It's Always Been You Read online

  The meal was a series of pleasant tastes in her mouth, but Aidan’s hot eyes followed her every move, distracting her from the meal, just as he intended to, she supposed. He waved the footman over and gave some quiet instruction that Kate could not hear, then he turned that wolf smile back on her.

  “I’ve asked for dessert to be served in your private sitting room. Later.” He looked pleased with her “Oh” of surprise and stood, snatching a bottle of champagne from its stand. “Shall we?”

  She’d enjoyed teasing him, had gloried in his tortured looks of want, but now that the time was at hand, nervousness prickled her neck. He stood, waiting behind her chair, and she fancied she could feel the tension coiled in his muscles.

  “Weren’t you going to give me a tour of your home?”

  He choked on a laugh as he pulled her chair out. “I suppose I could, if you’re really interested.”

  “I am!” she answered too loudly.

  She jumped when she turned to find him directly in her path. He chuckled, the sound tickling her skin when he leaned in to nuzzle her throat.

  “Are you sure?” His mouth paid delicious attention to the little spot just behind her ear.

  “Yes.” He nibbled gently. “No.”

  “Don’t be scared, Kate. I won’t bite.”

  A shiver set her knees trembling. She’d never even considered he would bite, not until he’d mentioned it with such wicked denial, practically a promise that he would.

  “I’m not scared,” she protested breathlessly, wondering if it was the truth or a lie as he took her hand, looking for something in her eyes before he nodded.

  Squeezing his hand with all her strength, she nodded back and followed him out of the room and up the stairs to the promise that waited above.

  But she was done with waiting. It seemed she’d spent half her life waiting, so as soon as they entered her chambers, Kate shut the door and turned on her prey.

  “Take off your coat,” she said past a smile.

  His eyebrows rose.

  When he didn’t move, she reached for him, sliding her hands up his chest to push the coat from his shoulders. Aidan let it slide down his arms and fall to the floor.

  “Kate—”

  “I never get to touch you,” she said.

  “That’s not true.” His smile went shy again, and even though her fingers trembled, that wry quirk of his lips gave her the courage to reach for the buttons of his waistcoat.

  “Not the way you’ve touched me.”

  “Kate . . .” he said again, hands rising as if he’d stop her. “You don’t have to—”

  “Hush. I don’t want to talk. I only want to touch you. Will you let me?”

  “Will I let you?” He shrugged out of his waistcoat, then cradled her face in his hands. “You may do anything you like to me. Anything,” he whispered against her mouth.

  Aidan pressed a gentle bite to her bottom lip, then he sucked on that tender flesh for a moment, soothing the sting, before pressing a trail of kisses to her jaw.

  Kate tugged at his cravat, loving the way the silk wound around her fingers as she pulled. The scent of his soap took her over, filling her mouth and throat and lungs. God, she wanted to taste his skin, to devour him. As she slipped the cravat off, the warmth that had soaked into it seeped into her own skin and made her shiver. He was inside her. He always had been. From that very first moment they’d touched. The scandalous twining of their bare fingers as they’d snuck through a wild thatch of forest at the edge of her family’s estate. He hadn’t even kissed her that day, yet somehow he’d stolen inside her and never left.

  Did he feel the same?

  Her fingers tripped down the placket of his shirt, freeing the buttons until she could tug the shirt from his trousers and pull it over his head. “Ah, God,” she breathed as she finally pressed her face to his bare shoulder. As she rubbed her cheek against his hot skin, she knew she could never be close enough, and a few nights a year wouldn’t suffice. But if it was all she could have, she’d take it.

  She turned to let him undress her.

  By the time he got to her stockings, Kate’s breath was coming fast. The slide of delicate silk against her calf felt like a hundred trailing kisses. He rose past her shivering thighs and this time she didn’t try to hide her nakedness. Instead, she reached for the buttons of his trousers, and got him just as naked as she was.

  Once his body was exposed to her, he took her hand to pull her to the bed. But he didn’t lay her down. Instead, he stretched out on his back like a primitive offering. His hand pressed hers flat against his stomach just above the dip of his navel, and he lay without a word, without any indication of his intentions.

  Her legs were too shaky to hold her, so she sat, tentatively, on the very edge of the bed, teeth pressed to her bottom lip.

  This was what she’d wanted, but now her heart churned with uncertainty. She wanted to have him the way he’d had her, but what was she supposed to do? Did he think she should know? Should she know? His hand fell away from hers and he closed his eyes . . . and she was alone with his body—her fingers shaking against skin, her hand a brand on his hard belly.

  She was frozen, unmoving for long minutes, mortified by her indecision, but Aidan lay as if sleeping. She looked him over until her eyes rested on his straining cock.

  Her nipples tightened even as her pulse trembled. Finally, Kate spread her fingers firmly, slowly, over the muscles of his belly, watching as they jumped beneath her touch. Her right hand rose to join the left, pressing lightly into his chest, stroking, feeling the warmth, the contrast of skin and hair.

  Her taut shoulders relaxed by slow degrees as she touched him, gradually falling into fascination. Her hands wandered all over his torso, from his stomach to his shoulders, over the dip of his breastbone and the swell of his muscles. Crisp hairs tickled her palms, and skin smoothed under her fingers. She broadened her explorations to sweep her hands over his neck, his sweet mouth, then down, gliding over his ribs to his hips and thighs.

  She stroked her fingers down the front of his legs, rough with hair, then up the inside of his thighs, marveling at how much softer and sparer the hair was.

  At ease now, drunk with curiosity, she put her knees to the bed and climbed on top of him. A sigh floated from her when she nestled her backside against the tops of his knees. Her skin felt cool compared to his, but his warmth seeped into her again, leaching into her body through that small contact.

  She shifted a little to set her palms against his thighs and the movement pressed her legs open, allowing the cool air of the room to caress the flesh between her thighs. The abrupt touch of air shocked her into a sharp gasp—she was wet, hot, burning.

  A small sound answered her and she looked up to Aidan’s face to find his gaze on her, his jaw tellingly tense. A small, fast pulse beat just under his chin.

  Awareness of him flooded back to her and she smiled. He did not look half as calm as he had a few minutes ago. Fascinated, she let her hands creep up an inch or two. He swallowed hard. A different sort of heat swept through her, warming her until she had to open her mouth to get enough air. Power. She could make him pant, make him cry out. That knowledge was more arousing than all of his beauty.

  Kate rocked her weight onto her knees and scooted a little farther up his thighs, settling her body and her mind to his complete seduction. She spread her fingers wide and smoothed them over the front of his hips until her thumbs crept into the dark hair around his sex. Enjoying the hard twitch of his belly, she inched her right hand closer, smoothing into his hair until she held the base of him lightly in the V of her thumb and forefinger.

  Eager, her breath straining at her lungs, she turned her hand slowly up and wrapped her fingers around him until the sharp hiss of his gasp filled the room. He pulsed in her hand, large and hard and so silky she wanted to dip her head and rub her cheek against him. She did not of course; even the heady rush of power coursing through her veins could not make her so daring. S
till, the feel of him in her hands drew her nipples into tight pebbles, an echo of the tightness low in her belly that throbbed with each beat of her heart.

  Oh, God, she felt so restless, so strong, commanding the responses of his body. A low groan vibrated in his chest as her fingers tightened around him in her excitement.

  “Mm,” she grunted in pleased surprise, drawing another groan from him.

  A wide, slow grin took over her face and she bit down on her lip again to keep from laughing aloud. This was heady. My God, she hoped he wanted to do this over and over again. She could spend weeks just mapping out his body like newly acquired property.

  Aidan’s mouth fell open on a silent sigh as his hips jerked just a tiny bit beneath her. He was growing desperate—his need obvious in the harsh line of his face.

  Curious, she stroked him and he rewarded her with a hoarse curse and an impressively restrained shudder. She stroked and stroked again as beads of sweat formed on his brow and his hands clenched, white-knuckled, at the bedspread.

  She bent and laid her cheek against his belly, breathing in the hot, clean smell of his skin. Her tenderness was urgent now, as if there would be consequences to not treasuring this moment, and she trailed her fingers down his cock with slow care. It jumped at her touch. He held his breath. And Kate pressed a gentle kiss to the shaft.

  She did not know how this was done, or if it was done at all, but she could tell that he liked it by the way he sighed her name. So she kissed him again, letting her mouth linger this time. She set her tongue to the hot skin and tasted him. He tasted like heat and smelled like sex, and Kate smiled against him as she licked a little higher.

  When she swirled her tongue around the crown, Kate glanced up, and she knew her little game was done. He reached for her, his face twisted with lust, and slid her body up so that he could capture her mouth with his.

  She gasped when her slick center nestled stunningly, perfectly against his erection.

  “Ah,” she sighed just before he tumbled her over. His hands tangled in her hair, holding her tight as he notched his cock between her legs.

  He thrust hard. The thickness of his shaft made her gasp as he forced himself deep within her. It was violent and desperate, this need. And she knew in that moment that no matter what else happened, this was good and right and what she’d always wanted.

  Chapter 24

  The morning light hadn’t yet penetrated Kate’s bedroom, but Aidan could just make out her still-sleeping form through the open doorway. The sight brought a smile to his mouth. That kind of exhaustion was enough to flatter any man. Then again, she’d done most of the work—she had a right to be tired.

  He stepped carefully in, setting the tray on the table and wondering whether to wake her. The sweet rolls his chef had baked were still warm and he imagined she’d appreciate that, so he crossed to the bed and sat on the edge, meaning to kiss her awake. The beauty of her flushed cheeks and naked shoulders distracted him from his mission and he just sat for long minutes, taking her in.

  He’d awakened with a stiff back, a numb arm, and skin slick with sweat where she lay pressed against him. His muscles had ached from the physical struggle to restrain himself during their lovemaking. But, more than anything, he’d felt good. So much better than his other experiences, so much more. To leave a woman’s bed with a sense of completion instead of diminishment. It seemed a different act altogether.

  He’d left her that morning with a gentle kiss to her sleepy mouth and returned with breakfast just to ensure she’d have no regrets. Food always seemed to smooth the way with Kate.

  Unable to resist the pretty picture she presented, he trailed a finger over the graceful curve of her shoulder. Her skin was sweet and soft. He’d had little opportunity to touch her the night before and now fierce hunger rose in him. He tamped it down and settled for rubbing a thick strand of her chestnut hair between his fingers instead of pulling the sheet from her body and covering it with his own.

  Lifting her hair to his mouth, he captured just a hint of her scent—flowers and spice—then he rubbed his thumb over the berry redness of her lips, tickling her until her eyelids fluttered.

  Those eyes met his, soft and unfocused. A smile started to curve her mouth, then her eyes widened and he watched them clear as she glanced around.

  “Good morning, love.”

  A pink blush stained her cheeks.

  “I’ve brought coffee and sweet rolls.”

  She blinked again and her eyes slid to the dresser where the tray sat. Pulling the sheet up higher, she inadvertently drew Aidan’s eyes back to her bare skin.

  “Shall I bring the tray?” he murmured, admitting defeat and leaning toward one creamy white shoulder.

  Kate drew in a quick breath when his lips brushed over her skin. She smelled wonderful, warm and toasty, a much tastier breakfast than the one he’d brought. A shiver vibrated through her shoulder and into his mouth as he tasted her with his tongue, sucking to draw her skin between his teeth.

  “You taste lovely in the morning,” he said against her shoulder, tugging the sheets down in small increments. They were torn from his fingers when she frantically yanked back.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m kissing my way down to your breasts. Once there, I plan on licking your nipples.”

  “Aidan!”

  Her horrified gasp made him sigh. “All right, then. I’ll just bring the tray, shall I?”

  She looked pained when he set it down across her lap. “I’m sorry. I’m really not very good at this.”

  “At what?”

  “This kind of thing.”

  “Eating breakfast?” His words were flat with innocence.

  “No! I mean . . . this . . . affair.”

  She looked adorable and very young all of a sudden with her tangled hair and downcast eyes. Despite her dishabille, he’d never seen her look so demure, not even as a seventeen-year-old virgin. Love, tenderness, and lust vied for domination in his heart; he wasn’t sure which motivated him to pick up one of her hands and press it to his mouth.

  “Do you think I expect you to behave like a courtesan? To lounge about naked, awaiting my arrival?” He smiled at her when she glanced up.

  “Of course not. It’s just . . . It seems a bit more awkward in the morning. It’s so bright in here.”

  Aidan tried hard not to grin—the curtains were drawn; it was only a little brighter than it had been the night before.

  “Oh, you’re laughing at me!” She picked up the tray as if to move it and rise indignantly from the bed, but she had no place to set it down.

  No longer bothering to hide his laughter, he took the tray from her, set it quickly on the floor, then dropped himself on top of her before she could escape from the pile of sheets and blankets.

  “You—!”

  Dodging her flailing fists, he straddled her and trapped her securely beneath the bedclothes, pinning her hands against the pillow.

  She squirmed and struggled at his laughter until she began laughing herself, gasping out breathless giggles.

  “I know you’re not shy, Kate. You certainly weren’t last night. So I’ll assume it’s only the novelty that’s making you behave like a ninny.”

  “A ninny!” Her voice was sharp with outrage, but her eyes shone. “I suppose your other lovers aren’t the least bit modest.”

  Aidan looked down to avoid her eyes and the sight that awaited him immediately dissolved his guilt. Clearing his throat, he glanced back to her face. “It seems you have fought your way straight into immodesty, love.”

  One glance down and she bleated in wordless horror.

  Aidan happily followed the path of her gaze to the luscious, pink-tipped breast peeking out from beneath the bedclothes. “I think it’s looking for the attention it missed last night.”

  Shocked into silence, Kate shook her head frantically.

  He did purr then, dipping his head to suck her nipple firmly into his mouth. It hardened against
his tongue and his body followed suit, thickening in eager response.

  A flurry of sighs and gasps floated to his ears, spurring on his excitement. God, he’d wanted to do this so badly last night when she’d been poised above him, unselfconscious in her arousal.

  He stroked her with his tongue and scraped his teeth against the sensitive bud, loving her body’s arching attempt to get closer.

  When he released her hands, they flew up to grip his hair and hold him to her, while he pulled the damned sheets down and out of his way.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he groaned, lifting his head to attend to the other breast.

  Kate moaned even as she pulled his hair sharply, moving his head away from her body. “Stop. Please!”

  He blinked several times to clear the haze of lust from his mind and looked up to her strained face. “What is it?”

  “I’m sorry. I . . . You have to leave the room.”

  “What? Why would I do that?” He ducked his chin, ignoring the sharp pain in his scalp as he drew close to her nipple.

  “Don’t. Don’t.”

  With a great, heaving sigh, he cast a mournful last look at the tempting pinkness before sitting up. “What’s wrong?”

  Kate’s face turned pink, then red. “I just need some privacy,” she finally blurted out.

  “Oh,” he replied dumbly, then, “Oh!” He felt heat seep into his own face and stood quickly. “Of course.”

  “Just go,” she muttered miserably, her hair hiding her face.

  “Sorry.” Aidan hurried out of the room, slamming the door behind him, then grinned at how foolish he felt. All those lovers he’d gone through in the past years and now he was embarrassed by her need for the chamber pot. The grin widened. This sharing a bed business was interesting. How fascinating to be with someone night and day, to live with them as you lived with yourself, all the banal, commonplace trivialities exposed.

  By the time the bedroom door opened he was past his fluster and feeling very cheerful. “Better?”

  She cast him a look brimming with annoyance at his good humor.